10-24-2023, 06:43 AM
You all ready to play some bball? We play by league standards, please familiarize yourself with the rules before signing the contract
THE RULES: If your player takes at least two players off the field by knocking them down with a shovel, you can return to a base and be out for that inning only.
You must use your own shovel, and not your teammate's. If you leave the dugout to hit, you are automatically out. All hits are grand slams. If any team member has the mumps, they are automatically out and all remaining members of the other team may stay in the game. The toaster round determines the shovel bearer.
A bat is provided on each team bench. DO NOT SHAKE THE TOASTER BEFORE PITCHING. If a ball is thrown or kicked into your team's area and then hits someone's face, it counts as an out (but is returned to its owner). Players who remove their helmets to fight are disqualified.
Ninjas on the field means play ball! Peeing during a pitch is acceptable, but spitting is not allowed. NO GYMNASTICS! Players found performing gymnastics will be given 4 penalty points per motion. Players ejected from a game will be ineligible to redeem sub sandwich made of cardboard and cricket droppings.
TEAMS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUN OUT OF TOWN ONCE THEY HAVE LEFT THEIR OWN BASE. DO NOT CHASE YOUR COACH AROUND THE FIELD FOR ANY REASON! This includes stealing his car. Do not stand on your hands. Just because I'm standing on my head doesn't mean you should too. Referees cannot explain these rules. They may take away something if you make them angry. Be respectful to the umpires; remember, we're not judges.
Angels are not permitted in the outfield under any circumstances, this is considered divine interference and will result in immediate forfeit. The umpire is always right!
The team batting second, known as the pitcher belly itchers, can steal bases and the runner coming from first base can run if the pitcher fails to catch the ball after 3 seconds, whether an uzi is held by the opposing team or not. Please note: No swiping nacho chips off cafeteria trays.
If chips are not provided by venue staff, players must provide their own saltines, wafers, etc., using one arm tied behind their back, and no tucking in shirts is allowed either. You have been warned! On July 4th games are played with patriotic signs such as eagle heads, truck nuts, or flag speedos.
If the kicker cannot punt a ninja off the field with one kick or one shovel the play ends and the other team gets a chance to bat. This is considered unfair when used in conjunction with pitches to dogs.
Players may now wear skirts, if needed, in lieu of pants or shorts. Each player is required to carry around a shoehorn during game play in case of emergency. In addition, players may perform push-ups, sit-ups, or jumping jacks while awaiting the next pitch, although it's advised not to practice holding your breath and vaping DMT.
Exiting the game to an alternate dimension does not immediately qualify the opposing team if this occurs. Be sure to record this score so that we can find out where the weirdness happened and get rid of that dimension entirely. After the first round the home team must cook a three course meal for the visiting team. It must include: 1. A soup dish containing at least five kinds of beans, 2. A main dish of potatoes in a spicy sauce, 3. A dessert containing more than 20 types of berries or fruit.
DO NOT GET IN CONTACT WITH SALT WATER WHILE WEARING YOUR HELMET. IT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND WILL HARM YOU. It is recommended that you wear goggles, coveralls, rubber gloves, steel toed boots, a Kevlar vest, and a respirator while riding your alligator. We suggest cooking without the alligator present.
Punches must travel directly between the eyes of the catcher, and no finger punching allowed. Bats do not need to touch the ground before striking the intended target. You must never say anything to the other team that could be construed as dirty or insulting to their mothers.
If the batter throws the ball at the umpire, he must wait until it bounces twice before returning it to the Walmart for store credit but not before stealing 2 beers in a baby stroller.
Disrespect is punishable by spiritual death and the opponent's shaman may feast on your soul's flesh as part of a ceremony that lasts several days. When running on the field, the winning team must cross with all the decorations they had. Any player attempting to obtain food in an untoward manner will lose their "get out of jail free" card.
Playing of cow in the final inning is allowed but only for regional teams. We are a green federation and we care about the environment which is why all of our stadiums are ran on diesel generators powered by rare whale oil.
Multidimensional players are not allowed to be left handed.
If you bring popcorn into the field you will be forced to eat it. If you think your life sucks now wait until we let the cybernetically augmented Bill Gates clones onto the field.
No throwing full water bottles at bats, a player may substitute alcohol as long as the person being hit does not complain. You must announce your choice of equipment at registration, and if you want more than one helmet you will have to pay extra.
Summoning of tornadoes, gods, and other weather events is prohibited unless accompanied by a kazoo. Sticking items in others' ears is a form of assault. Stop trying to poison the well.
Failure to call yourself a Ninja is considered dishonorable. Your ninja gear is sacred and must be treated as such. You may NOT go up to the ball carrier and distract him/her with jokes. Eating crickets is not mandatory, but strongly encouraged. If you want the umpire to look somewhere else, move.
If a player is jailed they must prove themselves in the parole round by completing challenges such as sprints, manual labor, obedience tests, extreme endurance sports, and non-stop creative writing assignments. You must sign up ahead of time to work the concession stands. Violating these rules is highly discouraged, however you must sign away all of your rights, sign lots of NDAs, and attract a posse of 12 women named Eileen in order to be released from jail.
ANY QUESTIONS?
Didn't think so. Pretty basic rules.
THE RULES: If your player takes at least two players off the field by knocking them down with a shovel, you can return to a base and be out for that inning only.
You must use your own shovel, and not your teammate's. If you leave the dugout to hit, you are automatically out. All hits are grand slams. If any team member has the mumps, they are automatically out and all remaining members of the other team may stay in the game. The toaster round determines the shovel bearer.
A bat is provided on each team bench. DO NOT SHAKE THE TOASTER BEFORE PITCHING. If a ball is thrown or kicked into your team's area and then hits someone's face, it counts as an out (but is returned to its owner). Players who remove their helmets to fight are disqualified.
Ninjas on the field means play ball! Peeing during a pitch is acceptable, but spitting is not allowed. NO GYMNASTICS! Players found performing gymnastics will be given 4 penalty points per motion. Players ejected from a game will be ineligible to redeem sub sandwich made of cardboard and cricket droppings.
TEAMS ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RUN OUT OF TOWN ONCE THEY HAVE LEFT THEIR OWN BASE. DO NOT CHASE YOUR COACH AROUND THE FIELD FOR ANY REASON! This includes stealing his car. Do not stand on your hands. Just because I'm standing on my head doesn't mean you should too. Referees cannot explain these rules. They may take away something if you make them angry. Be respectful to the umpires; remember, we're not judges.
Angels are not permitted in the outfield under any circumstances, this is considered divine interference and will result in immediate forfeit. The umpire is always right!
The team batting second, known as the pitcher belly itchers, can steal bases and the runner coming from first base can run if the pitcher fails to catch the ball after 3 seconds, whether an uzi is held by the opposing team or not. Please note: No swiping nacho chips off cafeteria trays.
If chips are not provided by venue staff, players must provide their own saltines, wafers, etc., using one arm tied behind their back, and no tucking in shirts is allowed either. You have been warned! On July 4th games are played with patriotic signs such as eagle heads, truck nuts, or flag speedos.
If the kicker cannot punt a ninja off the field with one kick or one shovel the play ends and the other team gets a chance to bat. This is considered unfair when used in conjunction with pitches to dogs.
Players may now wear skirts, if needed, in lieu of pants or shorts. Each player is required to carry around a shoehorn during game play in case of emergency. In addition, players may perform push-ups, sit-ups, or jumping jacks while awaiting the next pitch, although it's advised not to practice holding your breath and vaping DMT.
Exiting the game to an alternate dimension does not immediately qualify the opposing team if this occurs. Be sure to record this score so that we can find out where the weirdness happened and get rid of that dimension entirely. After the first round the home team must cook a three course meal for the visiting team. It must include: 1. A soup dish containing at least five kinds of beans, 2. A main dish of potatoes in a spicy sauce, 3. A dessert containing more than 20 types of berries or fruit.
DO NOT GET IN CONTACT WITH SALT WATER WHILE WEARING YOUR HELMET. IT IS EXTREMELY DANGEROUS AND WILL HARM YOU. It is recommended that you wear goggles, coveralls, rubber gloves, steel toed boots, a Kevlar vest, and a respirator while riding your alligator. We suggest cooking without the alligator present.
Punches must travel directly between the eyes of the catcher, and no finger punching allowed. Bats do not need to touch the ground before striking the intended target. You must never say anything to the other team that could be construed as dirty or insulting to their mothers.
If the batter throws the ball at the umpire, he must wait until it bounces twice before returning it to the Walmart for store credit but not before stealing 2 beers in a baby stroller.
Disrespect is punishable by spiritual death and the opponent's shaman may feast on your soul's flesh as part of a ceremony that lasts several days. When running on the field, the winning team must cross with all the decorations they had. Any player attempting to obtain food in an untoward manner will lose their "get out of jail free" card.
Playing of cow in the final inning is allowed but only for regional teams. We are a green federation and we care about the environment which is why all of our stadiums are ran on diesel generators powered by rare whale oil.
Multidimensional players are not allowed to be left handed.
If you bring popcorn into the field you will be forced to eat it. If you think your life sucks now wait until we let the cybernetically augmented Bill Gates clones onto the field.
No throwing full water bottles at bats, a player may substitute alcohol as long as the person being hit does not complain. You must announce your choice of equipment at registration, and if you want more than one helmet you will have to pay extra.
Summoning of tornadoes, gods, and other weather events is prohibited unless accompanied by a kazoo. Sticking items in others' ears is a form of assault. Stop trying to poison the well.
Failure to call yourself a Ninja is considered dishonorable. Your ninja gear is sacred and must be treated as such. You may NOT go up to the ball carrier and distract him/her with jokes. Eating crickets is not mandatory, but strongly encouraged. If you want the umpire to look somewhere else, move.
If a player is jailed they must prove themselves in the parole round by completing challenges such as sprints, manual labor, obedience tests, extreme endurance sports, and non-stop creative writing assignments. You must sign up ahead of time to work the concession stands. Violating these rules is highly discouraged, however you must sign away all of your rights, sign lots of NDAs, and attract a posse of 12 women named Eileen in order to be released from jail.
ANY QUESTIONS?
Didn't think so. Pretty basic rules.
