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Title: Forklift Certified [official]
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#1
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Greetings kind folk of A2B2.
This is my bizarre plan to escape from rural Canada. 
Forklift Certified Website (temp.ca address - ignore store, was a placeholder for an assignment)

I'm what you might call a modern guy. 
[Image: forkliftcertified-classic.jpg]

When I was a kid we had to move around a lot: abuse, religious cult in Kansas, dad's job… you get the idea. Everyone has a tragic backstory. Somehow, I ended up in rural Canada. If you aren’t familiar with Alberta, it’s like a smaller, more terrible version of Texas. I didn't have many friends growing up, so I spent a lot of time unsupervised on the Internet. Here's the thing about the Internet out here.

It forking sucks. Ping is through the roof, some competitive games are basically unplayable. You know what I could play though? You know what I could play though? Neopets. I was trained to become a master of economic abuse. I got banned off Neopets in middle school for breaking the economy. I did get unbanned this year tho Cool 
*my neopets profile*

I also played a fork ton of tabletop games (RIP Splinter Twin). 40k is pretty big out here so I got into it in the 8th grade. I think you know where this is going. Hello 1d4chan (RIP). I fell down the rabbit hole when I was 13. 
*zoo wee mama* 

I was a "gifted kid" in school, so they threw me into French immersion. I got thrown into a "3 year intensive" art program in High School which amounted to 11-hour school days drumming & doing musical theatre. Apparently, I was considered a "child prodigy" idk. I ended up challenging two exams in my freshman year, passed both French & legal studies 30 and got enough course credit to coast on my merits for the next two years. I worked at movie theatre and dicked around playing Modern/EDH. 

Fast forward to University. I had the option of going back to the states or staying out in Canada. I decided to go to the cheapest accredited university that would accept me. I ended up going into drama ed. on a partial scholarship. 
*fast forward four years*

Now I'm 21 and struggling to finish online university. Classes are forking terrible. I get paid $78 a month to moderate the university discord that literally no one uses. I don't think that I'm a particularly smart guy, but apparently, I'm a genius compared to the local crowd. I spent my stimulus checks on a computer so that I could play cyberpunk. That was a forking waste, so I had to figure out what to do with this expensive gamer LED machine. I took a management information systems class and got the Adobe Creative Cloud subscription thingy. Instead of socializing with the local anti-vax crowd, I stayed inside and did computer stuff. epic gamer moment 100


"We know trash, we know clean don't last never last when we load trash we upload trash face down, trash begets trash"
What the fork is your point? 
[font="Times New Roman", serif]My undergrad is actually in Human Resources and Labour Relation Management. I'm interested in training and development, specifically gamification. I'm too poor to afford the cost of a master’s degree and too depressed/apathetic to get my grades up. I haven't left this forsaken province in four years now and I haven't seen a friend in a year. Things are pretty shitty and we won’t be getting vaccines out here for a couple more months.[/font]
[font="Times New Roman", serif] [/font]
[font="Times New Roman", serif]So here's what I forking did. I took an operational health and safety class. I started my own company. now when I graduate, I'm just going to start forklift certifying people… ironically?[/font]
I’m going to try to use my “child prodigy” powers to "ironically" seize the means of forklift production in the province.
[font="Times New Roman", serif] [/font]
[font="Times New Roman", serif]This is my plan to kickstart the local economy. I will use my performance experience to help reignite interest in traditional industries through youth outreach programs. Once the manufacturing machine is running again and I have some money in the bank, I can screw off and play competitive MTG with the lads. Fork yeah![/font]
*2024 worldwide*[font="Times New Roman", serif]

Worst case scenario? I leave Alberta (oh nooooooooo... that sounds so terrible...)
[/font]

[font="Times New Roman", serif]Consider this a project announcement. [/font]
[font="Times New Roman", serif]I'm working on a visual novel called [/font][font="Times New Roman", serif]Forklift Certified[/font][font="Times New Roman", serif]. I’m learning Ren’Py and I’ll be making everything myself. When the games finished, I would like to provide everyone on A2B2 with their own digital Forklift Certification.[/font]

Here's how this works. Whenever you hire someone on the job, you have to recertify them on site. liabilities insurance blah blah blah. essentially if anyone wants free forklift training, they can play my game, put it on their resume & apply for the job. I'll set up a phone number and people can use me as a resume reference. If anyone asks, I will tell them that I give them virtual forklift during the pandemic. I will verify that their book knowledge is up to par but recommend supervised on-site training. I have previously worked at an engineering firm and have experience with construction supervision lmao. why did they give the 19yr old theatre student so much responsibility? also idgaf if you know who i am irl. I had one viral tiktok and already dealt with the fallout from that. Mother Mother fans scare me because I see myself in them, zoo wee mama. I think I have ADHD but don't want to pay to find out :/
[Image: Forklift-Certified-rekt.png]
[font="Times New Roman", serif]There is nothing wrong with this plan. Seriously y'all, I'm not losing my mind.[/font]
Anyways, to amuse myself I've taken to terrorizing the locals on social media. Call it guerrilla marketing. I took the class so “I know what I'm doing”. I'm just shitposting and confusing the locals who only know me through the students union. I'm turning myself into an anime character -> TSUNDEREBOYF 
what the fork (song for marketing class)
If this forklift thing doesn't work out, I'll start an onlyfans or something  Confused
[Image: iamtsundereboyf.png]
I guess this is my introduction to A2B2. Hello everyone  Shy
If people are interested, I'd be happy to share updates regarding this weird project  Cool
give it time and the marketing will come undone.
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#2
I'll make sure to keep this on my radar. The forklift has been an ignored art form for way too long. I hope we go more in-depth into the different types of forklifts in the future. If I see any in the wild I'll post it here.
 
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#3
https://youtu.be/K8XgzQU_sGo
give it time and the marketing will come undone.
 
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